Getting married.

I found out today that Jack is engaged to be married in December.  This didn't come as a shock...I had been preparing for it for some time.  This past weekend I was really down, even though I had had a wonderful week.  I couldn't get Jack out of my head or my heart.  Now I know why.

General Conference was just what I needed.  There were so many talks on surviving, and thriving, through adversity.  I wish I could say that I relish this trial I have been in the midst of these past 10 months.  To be honest, there were times in my former marriage that I relished the thought of divorce.  I would think :"Nothing could be worse than you feel right now".  Oh how wrong I was.  I was so naive to the feelings divorce brings.  It racks every part of your soul, that is if you have a heart.

So now I have to figure out how to move on when I have been fighting it for so long.  How do you move on from someone you covenanted with to love forever?  How do you have a change of heart for someone you have served, sometimes imperfectly, for over 28 years?

I do know some things though.

1. Loving Jack and marrying him gave me three of the best people I have had the pleasure to know.  I was gifted to be their mother.  That has not changed.

2. I have had the best sister in law ever.  Sharon is a lady I admire more than anything.  I am so blessed to have been able to call her family for so long.

3. I do want Jack to be happy.  If Rebecca can do that, then that is what I want.  Maybe if I say the last part enough I might be able to convince myself.

I wish the new couple all the joy that Jack couldn't find with us.

I will concentrate on the life that God, my Father, has blessed me with.  Because of the changes that have been forced upon me this year, I may just come out a better person.

Only time will tell. : )